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| Reflections | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Yahoo! | Name: | Victor Scardella | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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| victorscardella@yahoo.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Section Three : The
History of Jack-Nair Heights. Chapter Eight: Reflections By Victor Scardella |
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| As I
look back on it now, life for me as a kid was very interesting. I have so many good memories, little tid bits of smiles and sunshine and some sadness too. I realize now, that as I gained new friends or changed interests, that I also lost... I lost some friends to gain others, I lost some interests when I gained new ones. I guess, to some degree, I was searching for my own identity. I was trying to figure out who I was and how I might fit in to the scheme of things in this big old world. I guess I am still searching, even today. As a kid, my world was limited to school, the few friends that I had and my small neighborhood. Now that I am so much older, my world still seems limited, to where I can afford to go. I have had so many jobs in the past thirty (30) years, that I needed to use a spreadsheet to hold all the information relating to them all and it is several pages long ! I have gotten to experience a lot in those thirty (30) years but, I am still lacking in what I really want to experience. Of course I have regrets about not doing some things, like continuing my education when I was younger, as maybe it would have led me to a better career and life for me would have been different, maybe less brutal ?! I have had to do a lot of struggling over the past thirty (30) years. I guess it mirrors my childhood. I had to struggle a lot as a child too. I had to struggle to make friends and try to fit in somewhere ! I was never really very physical. I had no real strength, physically and I wasn't the smartest kid around, as I was not real great at academics. So, I ended up getting picked on or laughed at a lot as a kid. I guess I was considered weird by other kids and that made me feel left out and isolated. So, that left me to my own devices, all by myself. I had a lot of imagination and spent a lot of time alone in my room. Just me and my imagination spending hours alone in my room to dream up my own adventures. I guess it was a way for me to escape from the reality of my own unhappy life ! My life, which lacked real satisfaction and fulfillment ! I did enjoy music, even though I had no musical or vocal talent, but, I enjoyed listening to music quite a bit anyway ! Sometimes, I would escape from reality by getting lost in the music for hours at a time. |
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